Grocery Shopping for hopeless ex-meal plan college students

I remember my trip to Publix with my two best friends from high school. These poor boys were used to either their mother's or the dinning hall preparing meals for them and had no idea how to shop for themselves. In a similar situation myself, I offered to go with them to the grocery store to show them how to buy groceries; what to buy, how to save money, etc. Though I never hinted this to them, I was only recently an expert in personal grocery shopping. A week ago, after moving into my first apartment, I called my mother and proclaimed I would rather starve than cook another meal for myself. It was only day three. She calmed me down and gave me some easy meals to cook and how to shop for myself. So when I opened the boys' fridge and found only beer and vitamin water, I decided they needed help as well. We started in the deli. Jason had this idea in his head that he was going to make a dish with rice, but had no idea what to put in it. He picked up a giant roll of salami. Shuddering, I directed him to the sausage. Then we moved on to the produce. Matt picks up a small package of celery. He didn't realize it was organic and also double the price of normal celery. When I directed him to the normal celery, he was overjoyed at how cheap it was. Meanwhile Jason had picked up two red onions, only realize he had no way of cutting the onions. The only knives they had in their apartment were butter knives. I stopped him from just buying the more expensive chopped onions, pointing to three other items in his basket that required a knife. We move onto the cereal aisle. Jason picks up two different types of oatmeal, unable to decide between plain and maple brown sugar. He is finally able to decide when he remembers how his mother used to put chocolate chips in his breakfast oatmeal. Though I point out he'll have to buy the chocolate chips as well, he opts for the diabetes oatmeal. But wait! Matt finds an oatmeal that already comes with chocolate chips in it! Jason is ecstatic. I suddenly realize why Americans are the world's leaders in junk food consumption; we all just want to pretend our mothers still cook for us. However, we still aren't willing to cook for ourselves. Thus, the enterprising Quakers have come up with ready to eat, pseudo-home-made oatmeal, nostalgia included. Now if it only included knives.